Most Annoying Fashion Accessory?

Okay, so I own one as well. Guilty.

But in my defence, it's a very basic one. In fact it's rather old but it serves its purpose and unlike most of my peer group, I use it for one thing and one thing only.

There seems to be an ever growing trend and I don't like it for two reasons.

The first is that the people supporting the trend are being manipulated by a huge industry. The second is that these same people annoy me wherever I go. And sadly, some of these people are my friends (for how much longer, I don't know), sucked in by whatever the latest "viral" is.

Of course, I'm referring to mobile telephones, cell phones if you like.

At one time it seemed like only the affluent would ever be able to afford one. But then the capitalists being what they are pumped money into designing affordable options and communication networks for us lesser people. And there the seed was sewn.

As the market grew, contracts becoming more affordable and the "pay as you go" system being developed, the cancer began to spread.

Beep, beep.

"SMS received."

Usually it's some joke about the mother-in-law or the size of a man's appendage. Then the message gets forwarded to one or more recipients. And in turn it gets forwarded again. All at the expense of those gullible enough.

That was the beginning.

Next came ringtones. And lots of people seem to inists on letting everybody else in a public place exactly how many ring tones they have on their phones, and what those tones are. And it only cost a tiny amount to download. Me? I prefer brrrp, brrrp. And I don't mind if you call me a miserable bastard. I am a miserable bastard, but a miserable bastard who has better things to spend what little money he has on.

Nowadays the ringtones are in MP3 format, for those who have a modern device - mine is still the same old thing I've had for years.

Then came the camera phone. "Oooooo woooopey dooooo! I can send pictures to people." Mostly these pictures are really crappy and the recipient doesn't really want to see somebody sat covered in their own vomit after 18 pints of Kronenberg.

But pictures of such weren't enough. We just had to have video. And with the advent of video capture phones began the advent of "happy slapping."

Then there are the "comedy" videos. People bluetooth things around the pub as though this is healthy social activity. If I want to watch a video, I'll watch it at home. When I'm in the pub I like to play pool or darts, listen to the music...anything but watch a video on a screen so small it makes my eyes hurt.

Mobile phones are for one thing and one thing only and you don't need me to tell you what that is. But I'm going to anyway:

Annoying people.

And I do like some of those jokes.